Allow me to throw a disclaimer in here before good dudes everywhere start getting defensive. There is a difference between a guy who you happen to strike up a cool conversation with in a bar, and the type of guy who goes around talking to all the girls in the bar.
The first guy is probably fine. The second guy is probably not.
You likely already know which kind of guy I’m talking about just from that first bit. If you don’t… boy, are you in trouble girlfriend.
The guy I’m talking about is the guy who is trying to get in your pants. Granted, they all are, but I’m talking about the one that is only trying to get in your pants. He’s got that look in his eyes like he hasn’t eaten for 3 days and you’re wearing an outfit made of meat. He’s probably touched your lower back at least 3 times. He’s DEFINITELY complimented some aspect of your physical appearance. That guy. Some call him the sweet talker, I call him the corn clown.
All the CC wants to do is bang you. He doesn’t know that you have a masters degree in physics, or that you built 3 water pumps in small villages in Africa last summer; and frankly, he doesn’t care. The only thing he knows is that you’ve got boobs, and he wants to touch them. So in this highly anticipated follow up to my first smash hit blog post, 5 reasons why guys don’t talk to you in bars, here are…
5 reasons you shouldn’t care if these dudes talks to you in bars:
1) This dude is usually really lame. He’s either the type of misogynistic ass who thinks girls are only cool for their boobs, or he’s the kind of dude who can only find the courage to talk to girls after he’s had a few beers to build his confidence. Neither of which are a good look.
2) Your friends are probably definitely cooler than any one of these dudes. At least I hope they are. If you would actually rather listen to some corny clown spit game at you than catch up with one of your friends, you need to get new friends. Or you need to check yourself with your desperate face ass. SMDH.
3) He went out to get girls, and if you let him hit it, you’re just the girl he happened to get that night. You’re not special to him. He didn’t put in any work to deserve what you’re about to give him. Know your worth girlfriend. It should take more than a couple of drinks and shallow compliments to win you over. If you’re gonna give it up that easily, no one is going to want it. Go read up on the laws of Supply and Demand and re-think your whole approach. Be filet mignon, not bologna.
4) He didn’t approach you on a level of mutual respect; he approached you on a level of wanting to tap that ass. Flattery isn’t respect. Again, you’re more than a piece of damn meat girl. Don’t give someone who doesn’t honor that any of your valuable time. I don’t care how thick his hair is, or how shiny his teeth are; if you reward someone who treats you like a piece of meat, you’re showing him (and EVERYONE who saw you go home with him) that it’s ok to treat you as such. Respect is definitive, it’s up to you to decide what that means for you and let it be known.
5) You’re not the first girl he’s hit on in a bar, and you’re definitely not going to be the last. You’re not gonna change this dude. I don’t care how dope you are, or how cool of a person you are. If you meet this dude in a bar, fall for him hitting on you & let him hit it, in his eyes, you’re the type of girl who falls for guys’ corny shit in bars & lets them hit it. Besides, if you actually think you’re going to meet some great dude in a bar, and the reason you’re going to the bars is to meet guys, you need to seriously re-evaluate some shit.
Now I know what some of you are thinking: maybe you just want to go out and get some. You’re not interested in starting anything with this dude, you just want to scratch your itch (so to speak). That’s cool girl, do you, I ain’t mad; but that still doesn’t mean you should do it with someone who doesn’t respect you. You should know your worth for the badass bitch you are, and honor yourself in every situation. Intimacy should go hand in hand with respect, and when you allow someone who sees you as a vagina with legs to be intimate with you, you’re saying that’s okay with you to be seen that way.
Ladies, the more we (as women) sleep with this dude, the more we’re allowing dudes to get away with this corny shit.
Not to mention the number of health risks you’re opening yourself up to by getting intimate with a stranger (be real with yourself, he’s a stranger). Jesus. I don’t even want to think about it.
Bottom line is: know your worth, respect yourself, and be safe.
So next time some corny ass dude approaches you in a corny ass way in a bar, please laugh at this dude and tell him to try again. If not for yourself, FOR ALL WOMANKIND EVERYWHERE.